[] hungry and blank []
most of the times when i need someone beside me, i never really know who will be the right one that would help me get through the rough shit i’m into.
this year, i believe shitty things will happen (obviously), and i hope i can get through it with my greatest possession in life, and it’s called, my STRENGTH which God has given me to handle it carefully without failing it into negative sides. LOVE is important. and i hope i will not forget to give it more to every lovely people around me. i hope they don’t forget about me too.
i want to change. not too drastic.. but a little change won’t hurt much, right?
because where i’m living now has been the same since God-knows-when. it sucks. this year, or better say as today, i want to start moving and never stop. i hope it works for me and for everyone. CHANGE is for myself, and better be good than bad. even though being bad is easy, it never leads to good life in the end. so why take the risks? life ends anytime… just remember that.
[]2009[]
as simple as the title, all i wanna have for the year ahead is — love.
love always leads to happiness.
and i want more of it.
[] one year ago []
so many differences from now. today, i received more than before. much love. much honesty. much taking.
i want to be like him. i want to change him.
had a drink at a place that we never went before. weird smells surrounded us. you said you want to spray your “perfume”. of course it was your cigarette *duh*. i love your smell sayang. i love you so much.
[] blur []
we have a great conversation every night on the phone. feels like we were sitting next to each other. sleeping together. dreaming.
[] draw up []
i’m still in love with him. deeply. just like the time when i realised that i’m in love. it’s still the same.
hopefully someday, he will know what my love means to him. although now he thinks he already did. but that’s not enough. love takes time to understand.
i wish him luck for everything.
i love him so much. hopefully forever.
[] close to me []
i will remember yesterday. may 19th ‘07.
you ignored me.
no words.
all i have in mind is just bullshit.
wondering what the hell is going on. it’s the first time. i don’t know whether you feel it too. probably you think i’m just a girlfriend. nothing you could share. NOTHING.
the sucky feeling is remain until now. if you don’t do anything about it. i’ll lose my control. probably i will forget that you are my love.
[] human []
when two become one, it’s hard to find differences.
soulmate.
the one that one cannot have, unless, they are lucky. somehow, nobody understands what true love means.
when we live, we have to deal with so many things.
when love arise, we have to maintain and understand what the other half functions for us.
stop thinking the odd.
live life the way you want it to be.
free your mind, but not your soul.
[] the wo.l.f []
i’m beginning to think that i’ve changed. i always feel bad when i figured it out. it always makes me think whether was it a good or bad thing that i’ve already turned into this way? you know, when you had to deal with so many things and in the end it’s you who got to make the change.. everybody has to choose. never know what’s best for them. never know what’s gonna happen next… i hate it when i had to be the one who has to make the change… sometimes i wish someone could help me.. although it’s up to me whether to listen or not… giving up is the least thing i wanna hear right now.. cuz i have to get through to it.. although it will turn me into a fuckhead and cry all day…
I wish the best upon everyone.
I wish God will help me to get through it..
[] plan to escape []
without conversation, everyone will lose each other. without deep thinking, everyone will be dying unnoticed.
heart slashed. deep wound. blurry eyes made me feel like i was walking in a dream. i don’t care about anyone. i don’t feel scared. i like loud songs, although it hurt my ears.
i’m tired. helpless.
