Everything In Its Right Place

so many differences from now. today, i received more than before. much love. much honesty. much taking.

i want to be like him. i want to change him.

had a drink at a place that we never went before. weird smells surrounded us. you said you want to spray your “perfume”. of course it was your cigarette *duh*. i love your smell sayang. i love you so much.

we have a great conversation every night on the phone. feels like we were sitting next to each other. sleeping together. dreaming.

i’m still in love with him. deeply. just like the time when i realised that i’m in love. it’s still the same.

hopefully someday, he will know what my love means to him. although now he thinks he already did. but that’s not enough. love takes time to understand.

i wish him luck for everything.

i love him so much. hopefully forever.

i will remember yesterday. may 19th ‘07.

you ignored me.
no words.
all i have in mind is just bullshit.
wondering what the hell is going on. it’s the first time. i don’t know whether you feel it too. probably you think i’m just a girlfriend. nothing you could share. NOTHING.

the sucky feeling is remain until now. if you don’t do anything about it. i’ll lose my control. probably i will forget that you are my love.

when two become one, it’s hard to find differences.

soulmate.

the one that one cannot have, unless, they are lucky. somehow, nobody understands what true love means.
when we live, we have to deal with so many things.
when love arise, we have to maintain and understand what the other half functions for us.
stop thinking the odd.
live life the way you want it to be.

free your mind, but not your soul.

strange.

i’m becoming weirder, every hours…

i’m beginning to think that i’ve changed. i always feel bad when i figured it out. it always makes me think whether was it a good or bad thing that i’ve already turned into this way? you know, when you had to deal with so many things and in the end it’s you who got to make the change.. everybody has to choose. never know what’s best for them. never know what’s gonna happen next… i hate it when i had to be the one who has to make the change… sometimes i wish someone could help me.. although it’s up to me whether to listen or not… giving up is the least thing i wanna hear right now.. cuz i have to get through to it.. although it will turn me into a fuckhead and cry all day…

I wish the best upon everyone.

I wish God will help me to get through it..

without conversation, everyone will lose each other. without deep thinking, everyone will be dying unnoticed.

heart slashed. deep wound. blurry eyes made me feel like i was walking in a dream. i don’t care about anyone. i don’t feel scared. i like loud songs, although it hurt my ears.

i’m tired. helpless.  

visible reactions are always bad for others, but good for us. we throw tantrums to people and we don’t even know why and feel bad afterwards. mainly because we never think and that’s the way humans are made.

love. what is love? can i taste it?

i’m beginning to think that i’ve become like amanda from “the holiday”. we have a few similiarities. although exclude the family and profession part, we’re like the type who don’t seem to know when we’re actually fell in love…

what is love again?